Emotional Dysregulation

When emotions feel too intense, shift quickly, or are hard to manage.

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Emotions & Connection

This is not a diagnosis, and skills can be learned. Open one section at a time.

About 2 min read

This page is for understanding, not diagnosing. Only a licensed professional can tell you what is going on for you. Many of these experiences overlap, and having some of the signs does not mean you have a condition.

What it is

Emotional dysregulation means having trouble managing the intensity or kind of emotions you feel, so that reactions can seem bigger or longer than the situation calls for. It is not a diagnosis on its own, though severe, long-lasting versions in children can be part of conditions such as disruptive mood dysregulation disorder. Researchers describe it as a pattern that shows up in many conditions, such as ADHD, autism, bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, trauma-related conditions, and borderline personality disorder.

Biology, early experiences, stress, and sleep can all play a part. It is not a character flaw.

How it can feel

Feelings can hit fast and hard, take a long time to settle, and be hard to talk yourself out of. Some people explode, and some shut down. Afterward, many feel regret or shame.

How to notice it

Quick mood changes, or strong reactions to small things
Frequent irritability or anger outbursts
Feeling overwhelmed and unable to calm down
Shutting down, going numb, or avoiding feelings
In children, frequent meltdowns or big reactions that are hard to settle

What can help

Skills can be learned. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) teach ways to notice, name, and ease strong feelings. A systematic review of 67 studies (Sloan et al., 2017) found that emotion regulation difficulties and symptoms tended to improve together after psychological treatment for anxiety, depression, substance use, eating disorders, and borderline personality disorder. Day to day, steady sleep, movement, regular meals, naming the feeling, and slow breathing can help. See our Tools.

When to reach out

Please reach out when emotions are affecting relationships, school or work, or safety, or if you also have thoughts of hurting yourself. A professional can also check for related conditions that may be driving it.

Sources

Sloan, E., Hall, K., Moulding, R., Bryce, S., Mildred, H., & Staiger, P. K. (2017). Emotion regulation as a transdiagnostic treatment construct across anxiety, depression, substance, eating and borderline personality disorders: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 57, 141-163. Open article
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Borderline Personality Disorder

If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, call or text 988 (the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the United States), or chat at 988lifeline.org. It is free, confidential, and open 24 hours a day. Outside the United States, find a local helpline at findahelpline.com. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911 (in the United States) or your local emergency number.

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Within Your Light provides psychoeducation. This page is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please talk with a licensed professional about your own health. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 in the United States. Elsewhere, contact your local emergency number or find a helpline at findahelpline.com.